I HELD MY BABY!!!

I was so excited to hold her - I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry!

It took her Nurse, the Nurse Practitioner, and the Respiratory Therapist to move her into my arms!

Here is my sweet little Charly. Her sats were the best they had been all day, so they let me hold her for over an hour and a half...which I was told "NEVER HAPPENS". What a blessing!

I had to hold in all my emotions...I was scared to shake or move her much because of her precious little body. Just feeling her skin next to me was a miracle!

I left the hospital tonight on a clear night with a star infested sky. I saw the big dipper as I walked in the front door. It has been an amazing day - so wonderful, so beautiful and so rewarding. Words cannot express the love that I felt when I got to hold little Charly-Bell. It was AMAZING. Thank you John for the sweet post that you wrote...I cried when you wrote it, I cried when I read it, and I cried thinking of all of the wonderful friends and family that are probably crying along with us - and celebrating with us! All I can say is, Thank you!

After I held her she got a new vent tube so she had to be re-intibated. She also had another Lumpar Puncture (checking for menigitis) which clotted...so it will have to be done again. I long for her to have some peace and rest - I can't imagine being bothered every three hours, and then for tests, x-rays, and respiratory checks in-between. Poor thing. She is strong, and she has a very definite personality. I love her so much, it's hard to even describe.

As I said goodbye to Charly tonight...I felt a little scared. Now that I've held her - felt her warm body, and "bonded" with her...I long to want insurance that she will be okay. I cried in the parking lot before I regained my composure and drove home in silence. I remembered the Movie "The Count of Monte Cristo" (the book is my favorite) where Edmond said, "Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man (or woman I might add) is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome. Do your worst, for I will do mine!..." So, I am trying to weather the storm and am overwhelmingly grateful for all that I have been given, and the wonderful blessing of holding Charly. I can truly feel all of you with me celebrating this moment!