Can you tell I've been struggling? It's been a long week, and I feel like I am starting to unravel at the edges. Even though I have been blessed with so much - so many loved ones supporting me...I have spent the last few days in sort of a daze and frustration.
I have gone from being in shock the first few weeks of Charly's birth, to holding strong, to going with the flow...to a major plateau. I have had so many wonderful people giving so much to us and for us that I have been in amazement. Thank you! There really are no words to express the thankfulness in my heart.
I have been asking myself for a few days "how do I get out of this plateau that I am feeling?" I know there are no easy immediate answers, but I came across a talk from Elder Wirthlin called "Come What May and Love It". It was just what I needed. He said, "How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment...If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness."
I thought about a few things I could laugh about today. One of those things was myself. I need to learn to relax a little through my journey with Charly, and to be the wife and mother Jaxon deserve. John made me laugh today like I haven't laughed in a long time. It was really fun. I know I'm not going to be able to enjoy each day sometimes, but I can learn to "come what may and love it".
I went to the hospital today with John, and left with him. I didn't spend my time there worrying. I kept calm, enjoyed my time, held my little baby's hand, and came home to my family. I hope that you find something in this video/talk that inspires you as much as it did me.
http://lds.org/media-library/video/mormon-messages?lang=eng#2009-01-03-come-what-may-and-love-it
Ang,
ReplyDeleteI think there is a hidden message here. My sister just titled her new blog the same title, "Come What May and Love it" She is 26 and finds herself still single. Life has not been the way she had "planned". And I am sitting here thinking how interesting. 2 complete different people with the same perspecitve. I agree that life does not go the way we "plan" and usually goes in the opposite direction. But I believe like you that we must accept our path and learn that life is the way the Lord meant it for each of us and there is a reason why we all have our unique experiences and trials. Thank you for your testimony. I love reading your blog entries because you don't sugar coat any of it. You are being real and that's the best part! SERIOUSLY, I want to help out in any way I can!